death to penetrating time

time to emerge in it. being faithful often results in false promises and intense expectations. i am finding that in order to seek for meaning requires more faith in the intention, rather than the end result itself. wanting to be absolutely sure of my decisions as of late seems hopeless, but appoints to be rewarding, and sometimes realizing the self-seeking tug - is a good thing to have. i have more of a desire to verbalize my confusions with him(s) and them(s) than to let them marinate forever, although the opportunity to do so is less than available. it deems necessary but fails to expose itself to every situation that i have placed myself in.

and i beg to wonder why we must be entirely sure of [something] by seeing/feeling/sensing its presence though in most case scenarios the true existence of [something] presents itself in minorities..things or characteristics that are acceptable to us as real, but does it provide actual fact and evidence? for example......love; in a person's eyes, fear; in a beating heart, chill/heat; in the physical reaction of a body, and besides feelings we encounter, time; on a watch, magnetism; on your friggin fridge, etc. what about hypnotism? radio waves and frequencies? the holy spirit?

everything real is questionable.

begin to see truly beyond what is right in front of you, and obtain a perspective that enables a new level of empathy. be careless of things that don't matter nor ever will, and strive for a newer, more efficient way to penetrate the very existence that so many people in your life take for granted.

i'm tired and need to go to bed. staff meeting in less than 12 hrs.

LOVE & all things considered,

-sms